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How many honest, intelligent, caring men in
the world does it take to do the dishes?
Both of them.
Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a slut.
Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize
one egg?
They don't stop and ask for directions.
What do men and sperm have in common?
They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human
being.
How does a man show that he is planning for
the future?
He buys two cases of beer.
What is the difference between men and government
bonds?
The bonds mature.
Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
How many men does it take to change a roll
of toilet paper?
We don't know; it has never happened.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive,
caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.
What do you call a woman who knows where her
husband is every night?
A widow.
When do you care for a man's company?
When he owns it.
What are a woman's four favorite animals?
A mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the
bedroom, and an ass to pay for it all.
Why are married women heavier than single
women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of
wood?
His hand caught fire.
How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
What did God say after creating man?
I must be able to do better than that.
What did God say after creating Eve?
Practice makes perfect.
How are men and parking spots alike?
Good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped
or extremely small.
What is the one thing that all men at singles
bars have in common?
They're married.
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