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I await this.
The sweet anticipation-becoming more urgent. My body yearns for the ecstatic moment of abandonment, total release.
I always begin by focusing on the last time.
The room is prepared: not too much light, warm, inviting. My body shivers. I delight in the first few strokes. They become smoother, longer. All my muscles seem to merge into one driving force. I feel the tension building within me. The fire inside demands to be released. It becomes an ever-increasing pressure. More strokes. Build the intensity. Ride the up side of the heat wave. Don't loose focus. Concentrate.
It's coming; it's almost here.
Push, mind collapsing, no thought: just sensation. Deeper into the fire. My whole body is a hot, burning ember. Deep breath-suck in air.
Nearer, much nearer now.
I can feel the implosion in every muscle, fiber, sinew. Now, I crest the wave. The Explosion. The absolute release of the fire. Outside me now. Rolling down my body. Sensuous, salty rain. Drenching me from head to toe. Cool, running water against my hot skin. Liquid fire. Liquid breath. Molten fire becomes the cool, sacred water of my Baptism in the Christ. Everyday I enter this ecstatic Bliss. I ride the wave of my body's own primal orgasm. I raise my core body temperature until the fire within me is made manifest as Sacred Holy Water. I do this in the name of God, which I am. I am blessed by the Living Waters of my Body of Christ. I drink deeply from the Chalice of the Body Divine.
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