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Swami Beyondawonda's Ten Guidelines For Enlightenment
| 1. | Be a Fundamentalist--ensure that the FUN always comes before the MENTAL. Realize that life is a situation comedy that will never be canceled. A laugh track has been provided and the reason we are put in the material world is to get more material. Have a good "laughsitive" twice a day, which will ensure regularity. |
| 2. | Remember that each of us has been given a special gift just for entering, so you are already a winner! |
| 3. | The most powerful tool on the planet today is TELL-A-VISION. That's where I tell a vision to you and you tell a vision to me. That way, if we don't like the programming we're getting, we can change the channel. |
| 4. | Life is like photography: use the negative to develop. |
| 5. | It is true: as we go through life making heavy thoughts, thought particles tend to get caught between the ears and cause a condition called "TRUTH DECAY." Be sure to use mental floss twice a day, and when you're tempted to practice "TANTRUM YOGA," remember what we teach in the Swami's Abusdiveness Training Class: DON'T GET EVEN, GET ODD! |
| 6. | If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments and truly live like nomads. That's where... I no mad at you and you no mad at me. That way there'll surely be nomadness on the planet. Peace begins with each of us. A little peace here, a little peace there. Pretty soon all the peaces will fit together to make one big peace everywhere. |
| 7. | I know great changes have been predicted for the future, so if you're looking to avoid earthquakes, my advice is simple: when you find a fault, don't dwell on it. |
| 8. | Train the world, and we'll never have to change it again. |
| 9. | If you're looking for the key to the Universe, I've got some good news and bad news. The bad news: there's no key to the Universe. The good news: it was never locked. |
| 10. | Finally, everything I've told you is channeled. That way, if you don't like it, it's not my fault. But remember: Enlightenment is not a bureaucracy, so you don't have to go through the channels. |
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