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A bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, lost control and crashed into a ditch.
A farmer living nearby heard the horrible crash and rushed out to find out what had happened. He discovered the wreckage, found the politicians and buried them.
The next day, the police came to the farm to question the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?"
The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."
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The teacher decided to give a pop quiz on this week's spelling words. She asked the students to spell the words and use them in a sentence. Three of the words were hotel, stigma, and homosexual. Little Johnny's answers were:
1. h-o-t-e-l
"The President asked Monica to keep their affair secret,
but Linda Tripp made the ho tel."
2. s-t-i-g-m-a
"The President said to Monica, "I want to stig ma cigar
in your you-know-what."
3. h-o-m-o-s-e-x-u-a-l
"The President asked Monica not to wear panties because
he thought it made the ho mo sexual."
Little Johnny was suspended again.
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The last four U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they spin to OZ. After threatening trials and tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.
"WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD? WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: "I had a terrible time with Iran, so I've come for some courage."
"No problem" says the Wizard, "WHO IS NEXT?"
Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well.., Well.., Well.., I need a brain."
"Done," says the Wizard.
"WHO COMES NEXT BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD?"
Up steps George Bush sadly, "I'm told by the American people that I need a heart."
"I've heard it's true," says the Wizard. "Consider it done."
Then there is a great silence. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, not saying a word.
Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "WELL, WHAT BRINGS YOU TO THE EMERALD CITY?"
"Is Dorothy around?"
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