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The Top 40 Things
You Would NEVER Hear A Southern Redneck Say
| The top 40 things you would NEVER hear a Southern redneck say...ever....no matter how much they've had to drink, no matter how far from the South they've wandered .... |
| 40. | "Oh I just couldn't, hell, she's only sixteen." |
| 39. | "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex" |
| 38. | Duct tape won't fix that. |
| 37. | Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael. |
| 36. | Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. |
| 35. | We don't keep firearms in this house. |
| 34. | Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer? |
| 33. | You can't feed that to the dog. |
| 32. | I thought Graceland was tacky. |
| 31. | No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe. |
| 30. | Wrasslin's fake. |
| 29. | Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace? |
| 28. | We're vegetarians. |
| 27. | Do you think my gut is too big? |
| 26. | I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy. |
| 25. | Honey, we don't need another dog. |
| 24. | Who's Richard Petty? |
| 23. | Give me the small bag of pork rinds. |
| 22. | Too many deer heads detract from the decor. |
| 21. | Spittin is such a nasty habit. |
| 20. | I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today. |
| 19. | Trim the fat off that steak. |
| 18. | Cappuccino tastes better than espresso. |
| 17. | The tires on that truck are too big. |
| 16. | I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad. |
| 15. | I've got it all on the C drive. |
| 14. | Unsweetened tea tastes better. |
| 13. | Would you like your fish poached or broiled? |
| 12. | My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's. |
| 11. | I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl. |
| 10. | Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams. |
| 9. | Checkmate. |
| 8. | She's too young to be wearing a bikini. |
| 7. | Does the salad bar have bean sprouts? |
| 6. | Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen. |
| 5. | I don't have a favorite college team. |
| 4. | Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side. |
| 3. | I believe you cooked those green beans too long. |
| 2. | Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla. |
| 1. | "Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight." |
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