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Cheers, fledgling spirit worshipers. It is once again My honor to be voted Ascension Meister of the Millennium. Even though I have no ego to speak of, I sometimes can't resist the opportunity to bask for awhile in the glow of said greatness. Having been blessed with gifts unsurpassed, I benevolently share them with scarcely a string attached. Well, perhaps a few puppet strings here and there. Sometimes I even use your heartstrings to restring My guitar. That's why you feel My music in your Soul. Let My fingers do the walking into your cyber heart-space. My Hallowed Being spews forth Soul-sonic vibrations into your dreams and other warm hidden places. Can you feel My liquid Love sensations running down your leg?
I, Ascension Meister, Am preparing a feast for the ears of My rabid followers and devoted faithful. Your favorite God of the Flesh is currently working on a selection of His favorite original tunes designed to move you to erotic and Superconscious ecstasy. I, Ascension Meister, Emissary of Acoustelectric Love, Am completing a CD of My work consisting of songs for My flock. I have just signed an exclusive recording contract with Pecker Records. My band, "The Testostertones," and I are lustfully pumping away in My home studio completing this monumental audio achievement. Here are a few of the renderings. The title of the album is:
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"Love Songs To Someone Named You" 1. Your T & A Excites My DNA 2. My Lies May Be Hard To Take But My Love Is Easy To Swallow 3. If You Left It Up To Me I'd Be Down On You 4. Let's Meet At The Y For Box Lunch 5. Always Pointing To Heaven 6. I'm Not Sheepish About Loving Ewe 7. A Root Awakening 8. Say Good Moaning To Mr. Johnson 9. Sometimes I Just Gotta Hand It To You 10. Snatch-The Happy Clam 11. Pearl Facial |
Now rise up, My groping groupies, sparks of My loin. Look for these titillating pieces at your local music store. The "Testosterones" will soon couple with the "Estro-Jets," our new back-up group, in a carnival of rockin' N rollin'. Our arousing releases will be cumming soon on Climax Records.
Continued good strokes to you,
The Ascension
Meister, King of Rockin' N Rollin'
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