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Dear Answer Lady, Oh My God!
Question:
My question is a personal
one to you. I want to know where you come from. What makes you
so smart? Why are you the Answer Lady, Oh My God! and not me?
What are your qualifications? I don't mean to insult you, but
you intrigue me immensely. Just call me…
| Lost and Confused in Seattle |
Dear Lost and Confused in Seattle,
Answer:
I thought no one would ever ask! I'd love to tell you my story,
dearie. Sit back and settle in; it's a juicy one!
I did not have your "normal" birth. Nothing natural about it. It began back when The Heavenly Host recognized that there was a great need for a "Know It All" on planet Earth.
"We hear the cry of humanity", They agreed, "and We must send an answer."
"That's it! We'll send relief down to them in the form of a messenger with answers to their every question."
"We can have an enormous contest. We'll send the list of qualifications throughout Heaven and see who stands forth to apply. We should get some very interesting candidates!"
So, The Word was sent forth throughout Heaven for applicants who would be willing to come into human form and provide answers to all who sought them. Also, they had to be:
| Dynamic; impeccable; visionary; mystic; inspiring; creative; busy bodies: physical, emotional, mental and spirit bodies, that is. The Great Teachers of the Ages would be available at a moment's notice to this brave Soul. |
Boy, did they come out of the woodwork for that calling! Folks from all over showed up claiming to be the Know It All They were looking for. But, from the very beginning of my initial interview and tests, dearie, I knew They wanted me. I charmed the pants off of those guys. Not only did I have answers to all of Their questions, I could tell Them what They wanted to ask me next!
So a ceremony was planned for me to come into embodiment. I had to choose my parents with great care. They had to be special. I chose my father from a group of wandering gypsies from Russia. My Dad, Simon, read fortunes and could see into your Heart. I helped choreograph a meeting of Simon and my chosen mother, Saskia, from Brooklyn, New York. She read Tarot cards and palms. She could also tell you your deepest, darkest secrets.
While on their honeymoon, Mom and Dad astrotraveled to the top of a Pyramid in Egypt to chant together and have wild, unbounded sex. While deeply involved, they were given directions to teleport immediately to the Birthing Lab at John's Hopkins Hospital. They pretended not to hear, not wanting to interrupt their sexcapades.
However, Destiny awaits no one. They were yanked by invisible hands down into the lab with blinding speed. There they were shown a test tube just waiting for my arrival. Yes, I chose a womb with a view. I just had to see everything and Know everything from the git-go. With a loud bang and a brilliant blast of light, I came into Being. I'm actually the original reason behind the Big Bang theory, ya' know.
Of course, Mom and Dad were thrilled to see me. I was gorgeous from the start. And sharp as a tack. We were a great trio as we started our journey together. I was coming into my full Brilliance. Preparing myself fully for you all. I went to the monasteries, the mystery schools, and the mountain tops, the cellars and caves, the temples, the churches. I expanded my Consciousness to take it all in and combined it with the Wisdom of the Ages. So here I am. And there you have it. A quick overview, if you will. I'll go into more detail next month about who I really am, when we look at "How to Teach a Know-It-All."
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