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Hey there, my bon vivant gourmets. It's time to eat again and, therefore, it's time for another of my mouth-watering taste treats. One of my truly favorite meals is breakfast. This recipe is certainly a breakfast of champions. It will get your day off to a strong start, I promise you. I call it True Grits.
You will need the following ingredients to conjure up a bushelfull:
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1 whale-sized backbone - Orcas are best 8 large spunks (still in their shells) 6 cartons of guts - strained 1 gross of confidence 5 liters of valor 3 gunnysacks of moxie (already shucked) 10 lbs. of fortitude 14 cups of nerve, chunky style 6 - 20oz. jars of tenacity, extra spicy 6 gal. dauntlessness 6 large bunches of audacity |
Into a huge barrel, grind up the backbone with your Deluxe Slicer/Dicer, Blender/Grinder, Chopper/Grater, 6-in-1 appliance featured in my very own Answer Lady, Oh My God! Culinary's Kitchen Catalogue. Be sure that the bone is ground to pieces no larger than small pebbles. This is excellent roughage to start your day off with.
Next, take the large spunks and carefully separate out the prickly little critters from the serum in which they float within their shells. Whip the serum (using my 6-in-1, of course) until it foams. Set is aside for 10 minutes to allow it to thicken.
Thoroughly grate (do use extra heavy duty gloves here, also available in my Culinary's Catalogue) the spunks into the barrel and mix in well with the crushed bone. Add in the bravery and stir well. Texture should be creamy at this point, with a nut-like crunchiness throughout. This then, we'll call Mixture #1.
In a separate basin, mix the strained guts with the confidence. Add in the valor. Heat this mixture until it comes to a boil. Reduce heat to a slow simmer for 3 minutes. Add in the spunk serum, stirring constantly.
Next, strip each moxie from its core and chop into bite-sized chunks. Remove your simmering mixture from the heat before you mix in the moxie. Add in the fortitude and the nerve. Slowly blend in the spicy tenacity, one jar at a time, to get just the right consistency. This is Mixture #2.
Now, invite 30 of your closest friends over for brunch. Using large, gallon-sized bowls for your guests, fill each one 1/3 full of Mixture #1. Next, liberally spoon on Mixture #2 into each bowl. Generously pour the dauntlessness on top of each one, allowing it to seep down into the True Grits. Decorate the surface with springs of audacity.
Your guests will be delighted with your concoction and ready to take over the world. This is an excellent opportunity to organize a protest, a demonstration, or a rally for change. (Do be sure to write in and tell me know how it goes!)
Next time you have the munchies, the desire, or especially the cravings for really good food, look me up - I'm
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