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Well, fellow gastronomers and gluttons, as we move into Spring and out of the hibernation time of Winter, I'm being told it's time to eat some Humble Pie. Therefore, it is up to me, The Answer Lady, Oh My God, to teach you how to make it. You, as collective consciousness, yes, I mean YOU, need to taste a little of your own come-uppance. Well, I'm just the gal to deliver, dearie.
A quick warning…Humble Pie is easy to choke on if it's not made just right - so follow these delicate instructions carefully (or carelessly, your choice).
You will need the following ingredients to make 6 pies:
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24 black birds (Also known as Crows) 1 large canister of modesty - finely sifted 6 fresh meeks - medium size 4 cups compliance - extra thick 2 cups resignation - firmly packed 1 liter submissiveness 4 packs of bite-size morsels of humility 1 ripe, juicy shame 1 large stalk of embarrassment 1 large dash of crushed chagrin |
Set your oven to 425° degrees.
Prepare the Crows as follows:
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Behead them, carefully removing the eyes and
beaks. Cut just under the belly to remove legs and feet. Set these parts aside with the heads. Remove all feathers by plucking. Use tweezers as needed. Oil the skins well by dipping your fingers into the submissiveness. With your middle finger, insert oil up into the rectum of each bird to lubricate the inside as well. This will keep your Crows moist and succulent and will help to brown them up as you bake them in a deep baking dish for 25 minutes. |
Note: Some folks like to bake the heads along with the bodies to use as decorations around the top of the pies. Most fine chefs elect to utilize the eyes to decorate the crust, by creating a pattern or design with them, such as a happy face. I recommend discarding the beaks and claws, however, as they get stuck in one's teeth. (And we don't want to have Crow's feet before our time!)
Next, peel the meeks and cut them into thin slices. Combine these in a large mixing bowl with the entire canister of modesty. Blend in compliance, stirring continuously to mix evenly. Add in resignation, along with the remaining submissiveness. Mixture will be slightly runny at this point, but it should thicken as it bakes.
Your Crows should be done now. While still hot, place them in a star pattern in your six chosen pie pans - four per pie pan. Don't be afraid to smush them down deeply. Trust me, your crushing those tiny ribcages will not detract from the crunchiness that the lucky diner will delight in later.
Pour the mixture you've prepared, over them. Be sure to cover them completely. These submerged birds should be tasted, not SEEN peeking through the crust.
Squeeze the ripe shame over the pies so that it thoroughly oozes into each one as they are baked.
Lastly, crumble the morsels of humility over the tops of each pie. This added crunchiness will harden and form the crust. Place your pies deeply into the oven and bake for thirty minutes. When done, let them cool slightly and then sprinkle with crushed chagrin to give then that "blush" look.
Decorate the top crust with eyes, as desired. (Yes, and heads too, if you must!)
Garnish around the edges of your pies with the green leafy tops from your stalk of embarrassment.
These Humble Pies are a perfect pot luck dish to take to Repentance Group gatherings.
Note: When eating Crow, it is important to chew your chow thoroughly. You don't want to get Crow stuck in your craw.
Next month, maybe I'll be able to bring you the Angel's Food Cake recipe I hinted about last month. That is, if you've earned it by then. Eat your Humble Pie in the meantime, and see if you can deserve a heavenly dish next time!
From My Exhalted State, I remain,
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